2023 — Year in Review

Did it bang? How much did it suck?

1. Get out of my head. I live inside myself a lot. It’s predictable and safe but also offers way less return.
2. Provide a reference point for next year. Our memories are fickle things. It gets harder to recall details as time passes, but if I write it down in time, I have a marker for how last year went compared to the current one.
3. Inspire someone, anyone. I barely touch books nowadays, but I still maintain a reading habit by visiting blog posts and thought pieces. I’ve garnered a lot of knowledge this way. I’ve found ways to intellectually verbalise crude thoughts/principles I had, realised that people with my skin colour can do great things, and now I’ve been inspired to write my own year in review. It’s a tall ask, but if my writing can impact one person the way others did me, I’ve done a little to make the world a better place.

So, what happened in 2023 even?

Being far from January (2023), I can’t say that I remember much. The first 6 months of the year were a blurry mess. I recall being pissed about being forced to continue with university. Resentment for not being understood, for not being independent. I remember hating every moment I had to be in class and finding solace in my laptop’s screen. I remember struggling to finish assignments, failing tests, passing tests, struggling to finish my final year dissertation and speed-running it in two weeks. I remember sweating during defence, hoping someone wouldn’t poke too much into what Olly and I cooked up. I’ve hated school since I turned 11. This period further solidified some of my opinions on formal education (a rant for another day). It was a shitty ride.

In that time, I recorded a few dubs; I got with Olly, my current partner. I had my friends and support group, so the journey wasn’t as gruelling as it could’ve been. And by July, we were done with university.

I remember taking a week (actually, maybe three?) to rest and think. Lord knows I had a lot to think about. I thought about my career and what I’d need to do to get to where I wanted, thought about plans, the country, and then a lot about money. Then, I started Harvard’s CS50 (Introduction to Computer Science). David J. Malan quickly became my favourite video course tutor (and the only one I’ve enjoyed so far). The plan was to finish the entire thing by November/December and have the certificate by the end of the year. I didn’t.

An Even Rougher Patch

I don’t think I’ll forget August to November in a hurry. I started worrying about money even more than I had before. My rent was nearly due, and I needed work badly. I applied to everything I thought I qualified for. I ended up sending applications to a little under a thousand jobs. I got a grand total of 5 interviews and 3 offers.

Then, I got a job in October and had to leave the team in less than a month. My life was in complete disarray, and I struggled to get work done. I let the team down a lot. The writing was on the wall.

Reflecting on that entire period, I think falling into the trap of rapidly applying to jobs was a mistake. Even though I revised my CV about 6 times, my method of cold applying remained the same. I panicked too much about my rent running out and let it cloud my judgement. I bet I would’ve had better success getting recommendations or talking to friends who knew people. Fun fact: Someone got a job through me this way during that same period.

I don’t think I should have started at the job I chose right away. I wasn’t aware of how burnt out I was. I should’ve tried to get a lot of factors under my control first. More than ever, I realised how crippling poverty (not having and worrying about money) can be, even for intelligent people.

Epilogue

I learned a lot in 2023. It wasn’t the best. I broke down twice and for the first time (for a grand total of 6 minutes). My mental health suffered. I had a record-breaking speed run at losing a job. I didn’t hit any of the goals I set for myself.

Nigerian-made music finally overtook foreign music in my total listening time. It’s nice to see Nigerian artistes finally match the rising production quality in the industry. I didn’t pay much attention to the news during the year; There seemed to be a lot of conflict between countries and geo-political zones.

But even with the world crumbling, I’m grateful for Olly. For my friends. For family. For shelter. For the end of uni. I hope it all gets better next year.

Song I had on repeat writing this: https://open.spotify.com/track/6z1TvLTR0oOsWSJfDrERmj?si=a4bec19368de4a96